Today I a struggling with me, I do not know if I am coming or going. My mind see’s a million parts of me that needs to be fixed and I don’t know where to start. I feel so self conscious about everything. My short comings always seem to come to the surface. I feel as if everyone can see through me, I feel as if they can see all my flaws. I know that they can’t but I feel like I’m a walking contradiction. There are times that I feel like a fraud, like everything I stand for is fake. Yes, I am faking it until I make it, but somehow that doesn’t always seem right to fake it. It seems self defeating at times, sometimes seeing one’s shortcomings are the best way to grow. I am in a position where either I fake it or make it. Faking it make me feel like I live in a see though house and not doing it is not an option. With this puzzle growing daily in my mind, I am seeking guidance from God for purpose. I am seeking peace and I am seeking wisdom on this journey. God, I ask that you continue to hold my hand as I walk in these cloudy places. During this journey, different parts of me are being revealed. Like the facet of a diamond are revealed in different light settings. I am being exposed daily with trials of life. The light exposes all the dark places and makes me shine even brighter. This is not an easy walk, but it is doable. Am I ready, as always the answer is no. But, I am willing, lets go.©
Is there anyone who relates to this? Holla at me.